ON BEING THE DEFERENTIAL SPOUSE Some weeks I don't think I can make it. I mean in my role as the deferential, non-producing spouse. The idea is right, and fair, that after 25 years the wife should not be the one to pull up professional roots for sake of the husband's career. But after four years of fairly successful adaptation to this life, stirrings still appear which cause us to question whether we can make it. There is strong temptation to be done with the ambiguity of non-structured ministry, and take a regular job. Then I could answer the question—“What are you doing these days?” To make my week worse, along comes Psychology Today.  “A man whose wife earns more than he does is a prime candidate for a rotten love life, divorce, and early death. I don't like the choices. But it gets worse.                                “If a man's job is beneath his potential, while his wife not only                                  makes more money, but also has a prestigious job, he is 11 times                                  more likely to die of heart disease in middle age.” I've argued that a man ought to be able to defer to his wife's career and overcome the macho problems generic with Western man/men. And I've reminded myself that in terms of influence no place is “bigger” than another (“Can anything good come out of Nazareth?”), and no role is without potential (“Is this not the carpenter?”) But the spirit hungers when the intellect is satisfied. What would happen in the world were not achieving egos hungry? But the spirit hungers when the intellect is satisfied. What would happen in the world were not achieving egos hungry? But just in time I am rescued. Not to worry! Two most unlikely sources for inspiration—a church newsletter, and a book review.  The Newsletter carried a quote from William James:                                “I am done with great things and big things, great institutions and                                 big successes, and I am for those tiny invisible molecular moral                                 forces that work from individual to individual.” The Book review, in Christian Century, quotes William Sloan Coffin:                                “It is not God who wants us to seek status;                                 through His love He has already done that, and to each the same.                                 God does not want us to prove, only express ourselves.                                 What a different world we would live in were all of us to express                                 ourselves rather than prove ourselves.” So it's back to trying to buck the odds laid forth by Psychology Today. I will try to demonstrate that it is possible for us to escape cultural tombs, to really give up “great institutions” and “big successes,” to give up having to “prove” something to somebody and ourselves. The odds aren't good. But the alternative is to get a real job. That would ruin the whole attempt. I'm going to work harder at not working.   —Art Morgan, Moment Ministries Blue Sheet, November 17, 1982