FOLLOW THE MONEY (a President's Day piece) I was working my major – “Applied cynicism”— with respect to politics. I was ranting in my soul as I watched all those wanna be presidents, telling folks everything they wanted to hear. You could hear the roulette wheels in their heads rolling around, trying to remember not to say anything that would a) turn off any would-be voters, and b) make major donors unhappy. What pours out of the mouths of those whose words have been so thoroughly sanitized by polls, fears and money, is mush. I don't ask myself “What do these guys think?” but “Do these guys think?” Maybe a good way to vote would be to choose the candidate with the least money. He (or if we got lucky, maybe a “she”) would be less likely to have ideas pre-selected by major donors. How's my cynicism going? I could make a sermon. That stirred some thinking. Do you notice that since I don't get paid anything by anyone for what I do or say that I say some outlandish things? At least you know that what I say is my own outlandishness, not that of some contributor. Which led me to think about clergy. Clergy won't admit it, but most run scared. More churches than not dangle over the precipice of non-existence by a shoestring. I heard one preacher of a big cathedral-type church tell me that were it not for one major contributor the church could not continue. It would be difficult for that minister to do or say anything that might disrupt that source of income.  My suspicion for a half century has been that at least some clergy have their brains held hostage by conservative tithers. To dare speak a questioning thought, to dare inform about the realities of biblical scholarship, would be to put a job at risk. Clergy learn to do the subtle shuffle, carefully sidestepping controversy and dancing away from disruptive words and actions.  In other words, clergy are often no better than the politicians. They (we?) are beholden to the money. We follow the polls of what people are thinking and do and say what is not likely to lose support. Clergy are really in a poor position. You don't last long without a constituency. I know of only one (Cecil Williams in San Francisco) who faced his dwindling, mink coat and Cadillac old downtown church congregation and simply told them that they were going to minister to that city and ALL the people in it, whatever it took. Out went the organ and fancy pulpit and chancel furniture. In came live music, honest to God preaching, and multiple ministries to the poor and hungry and needy of all sorts. In came young street people, poor people, bag ladies, gay people, people of all colors. They served over 5,000 meals to street people last Christmas. Last time I attended that church I had to stand in line to get in. Cecil has been there for at least four decades now. He was able to face up to the money partly because the Methodist system guaranteed some of the security not found in other polities. Nevertheless, he had the courage to forget the public opinion polls and to turn a blind eye to the source of money. We need more preachers like that. And it would be nice to have at least one presidential candidate like that as well. Art Morgan, For President's Day, 2000