PRO LIFE?
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I never met anyone who wasn't pro life.
Especially people who had been through abortions. They care as much about
life as those who call them murderers.)) There are only pro choice and pro
non-choice.
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Thought I would say that to get you
in the mood. Actually, there are those who intend to have us all getting
fussed up about the matter during this Congressional term.
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What I really wanted to talk about is
life.
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My pastoral ministry began with a call
from the funeral director. A lady who claimed to belong to my denomination,
new in town, was in the hospital. She had just delivered a stillbirth; Would
I go? It's what ministers do. And by the way, there's no money big enough
to pay you to walk into a hospital room like that.
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The next thing I know I am doing my
first funeral. It's a graveside funeral with her young husband and grieving
parents trying to do something in a situation none of us were prepared for.
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Of course, I didn't have a clue. Nothing
in seminary prepares you for such a moment. There were lots of questions
I had never faced.
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Was a stillborn infant an actual life?
I had a couple of kids by then, and knew for sure that they raised a kick
before they were born. Do they have consciousness? I had never given thought
about whether or if or when a fertilized ovum acquires soul or spirit. At
conception? Birth? The questions I had never faced went on and on.
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Truth is, I wasn't really thinking about
those questions at the graveside. I was wondering how to bring some closure
and comfort to a tragic moment I remember taking a copy of my words to the
mother. Do you call one who has given birth to a stillborn a “mother?”
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Through the years I faced many varieties
of that moment. There were miscarriages and abortions and occasional stillbirths.
There were some Sudden Infant Death Syndromes as well.
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Miscarriages were received in various
ways. Sometimes as a grief, but at other times a relief. Some saw them as
nature's way of dealing with a life that should not be.
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There were abortions of convenience
and abortions requiring tragic choices between whether the abortion was more
or less tragic than a birth.
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I really don't want to debate abortion,
It will be debated enough this year, mostly by men and politicians who feel
called to tell women and their doctors what to do. My concern has to do
with the survivors. How do they deal with their situations?
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Back to my clumsy pastoring. I wish that
someone like a Buddhist I know, Jan Chozen Bays, could have spent at least
one hour with my pastoral care class in seminary. She is a pediatrician by
profession, dealing with heart breaking cases of infant neglect, abuse and
death. She also leads the Great Vow Monastery in Clatskanie, Oregon. She
has roots in the Christian Church and has moved on to become a Zen master
with more than 25 years study and practice.
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She has a book, “Jizo Bodhisattva —
Modern Healing and Traditional Buddhist Practice.” She introduces us to Jizo,
“the protector of travelers—whether their journeys are in the physical ~
world or spiritual realms. There are all sorts of Jizo statues in Japan.
He was imported to this country a quarter century or so ago, and to Oregon
by Jan a few years ago.
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Jizos are usually found in gardens where
people can visit, leave messages to ones they grieve for, or leave little
gifts. Sometimes a Buddhist priest leads a simple ceremony of chants, lighting
incense and placing of remembrances on the Jizo figures.
The priest speaks names of the children, including unborn whose sex is unknown
or who had never been named. It is most often used for those lost through
miscarriage or abortion.
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I'm sure I never heard of most of the miscarriages
or abortions in my congregations. Even when I did, there was no service or
observance. Some wanted a service for a stillbirth, others not. SIDS deaths
always had a service. I don't know whether or how people observed memory times
of those hard times.
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What Jan
has learned from her years conducting Jizo services is that even many years
after a loss there is a strong lingering attachment to that broken life connection.
The point is that life is remembered and honored and valued, no matter the
what or how or why. It is a comforting experience. Where was Jizo when I needed
him? When you can't get through to Jesus, I don't think he'd be upset if
you made a visit to Jizo. And for Christian pastors, there's help in her book
that you didn't get in seminary.
— Art Morgan, January 2005
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